I have an approach-avoidance thing going on in my writer's world this week. A dark novel I finished and had critiqued by my writing group, The Write Minds, and edited by my Book Concierge, Rowe Carenen, has drawn some interest. Lots of queries sent out in May, several rejections. But I got a handwritten note yesterday from a major publisher who read my query and first 25 pages. Now she's asking to see the whole novel.
Excited? You better believe it. And that thrill lasted all of 24 hours. Now I'm suffering from that ol' psychic pain, corrosive self-doubt, and feeling pretty sure she won't like it after all and then I'll get a kind and gentle note saying it's not for them. Something like, "Dear Mr. Carenen, your writing sucks!"
I'll keep you posted as I struggle to dismiss from my mind what may or may not happen. In the meantime, to refresh my creative juices, I'm writing the lyrics to country songs. Someone else will have to provide the music. Here are a couple of sample titles: "She's Got a Calico Heart (but) He's Got a Spandex Mind" and "What If I Love You More Than You Love Me After You Said You'd Love Me More." Um, never mind.