We need to talk about socks. I got free socks in the hospital. They were yellow (color coded to the floor where I was admitted, coronary care ICU even though my heart was fine - don't ask) and had little grippers on the bottom so I wouldn't fall while trying to escape. They also had little grippers on top, across the instep. I finally figured out that they were useful in keeping me in bed (they wouldn't let me out of bed for a couple of days) because they latched onto sheets and blankets and anything else that came near my feet, hopelessly entangling me so that I would trip.
When I was finally allowed to get out of bed, and able to detach my feet from the sheets and blanks, I realized they were the same kind of socks that allow Spiderman to go up the sides of buildings. Once I realized what they were, I was halfway up the wall when the care team pulled me down. I kept the socks.
