My Iowa Hawkeyes need to get their act together. For example, the fight song has these disgusting lines: Instead of "fight fight fight for Iowa," they should substitute "hug hug hug for Iowa." And instead of "cheer until we hear the final gun," let's get away from firearms and go with this, instead: "cheer until we hear the final kazoo." I am sending their administration a strongly-worded letter with my demands. Change is forthcoming.
