When I was a senior at Clinton (Iowa) High School in 1963, I had an English and Creative Writing mentor. He was also the faculty advisor for the school newspaper and annual, for which I contributed sports reports and an anonymous satire column. His name was Gene Olson and his gift was sincere encouragement. His smarts and sense of humor were always there to help us be better writers. From then, we became friends over the years until he passed on just a few short years ago.
With his continuing encouragement, I began to set high expectations for myself. I did not reach them. I had expected to be a best-selling novelist with the fame that goes with that title. Oscar-winning movies would be made from my books. I would have a bit part in each movie just for the fun of it. I would charms millions of viewers when I appeared on talk shows. None of those things happened.
As the years rolled along, I had limited success in the writing world. A few articles came out in Reader's Digest and other national publications. I was a featured humor columnist in two Southern newspapers. Still, I was not satisfied, and the result of that dissatisfaction made me a little bit bitter sometimes. I became disillusioned. Then a fiction trilogy was published and I sat back waiting for huge advances for the next book. It didn't happen. What did happen was my discontent. Expectations stumbled. Most of them fell by the wayside. One of my best efforts generated well over one hundred rejections from literary agents and publishers. I took the hint, grudgingly.
I had always harbored a secret expectation for myself. I realized, mea culpa, I had not done my very best. I was holding back, subtly harboring a built-in excuse for my failures - I can do better. And so I wrote Keeping to Himself, an award-winning novella published in 2022. And I was satisfied that I had done my best, and with that came freedom from my self-expectations. What a relief! Now I write just for the joy of creating something out of nothing, and it's fun, and I hold myself to the standard set in Keeping to Himself. Oh, I still hope for more publications, a nice royalty check now and then, a movie deal.
This blog post is not just for ink-stained wretches (writers). I think the lesson it took me decades to learn applies to everyone. It's a cliche - "Do your best, Johnny!" - but, like most cliches, it retains its substance. Yes, do your best and then let it go. Set goals, but keep a grip on expectations, and enjoy peace of mind.
Author's note: Keeping to Himself is available on Amazon, and it would also make a wonderful gift for your reader friends! (and I do not expect any sales)
